One day I told my Shaykh that I was in agony because I could love others (at least what I call love…who knows what you would call it if you experienced it) but I could not feel their love for me. He simply answered, “Loving is enough.”
I was out today in the garden.
I had my beans with me. Most are Scarlet Runners, with their enormous ’60s psychedelic purple and black seed habit, and the rest were humble Kentucky Wonder pole beans.
I looked down at them. After two days soaking, and another four in wet paper towels, they were sprouted and ready to plant. They had been dormant, like dried mummies, but water woke them. At my command.
You’re expecting to me to say that the influence of God is like water on a bean, to quicken it and vivify it with Qualities. True enough, but another time.
The Koran describes a day of judgement where Allah hears testimony about the deceased. It is said that on that Day, dogs will bark to endorse their masters, while cats will rush in with “fire on their tails” to help burn their former masters. In modern times, we say, “A dog sees that its caregivers feed it, and give it water and companionship. The dog thinks: they must be Gods. A cat sees that its caregivers feed it, and give it water and companionship. The cat thinks: I must be God.”
The purple and black is rich beside the white of the bean root. Their life swells in them. What will my beans say if they are called by prosecuting angels or defending Shayks?
The baby limas appear in tears, making wracking, heart-breaking sobs as they mill around the Throne. “He picked us up, dumped us out of our beds. Soaked us to awaken us; he promised us water. For love of You, we believed him and in all innocence we drank and drank and grew. We gave him our only chance at life, and he planted us where ugly slugs ate at our leaves and crippled us. He forgot about us and stopped watering us, so we died from mutilation and thirst in the summer sun.”
No, we are not going to be responsible for the quality of hosting fecal bacteria, or any of the other thousands of species of commensal bacteria on and in our poor bodies. But when God looks into you, your heart becomes softer than jello. You have everything, so what can be better than giving it all away? You will still have It. You will want to care for a sprouting bean as if it was the Christ Child.